[Dear Lewis] Is it okay to tell white lies during performance review season?
An executive faces the challenge of balancing honesty with corporate expectations.
Today we're stepping into Clara's (not her real name) shoes as she wades through the murky waters of performance reviews with her team.
Get your snorkels ready because we're about to dive deep into the tangled mess of workplace politics, where fabricated excuses, cultural quirks, and the age-old struggle between honesty and corporate protocol reign supreme.
Will Clara navigate this labyrinth of expectations with grace and integrity, or will she find herself lost in the sea of corporate doublespeak?
Keep striving for greatness,
Lewis C. Lin
CEO, ManageBetter
🤔 Is it okay to tell white lies during performance review season?
Alright, settle in folks, let me regale you with the tale of a recent rendezvous with Clara (not her real name), a seasoned Senior Director of Marketing at a fancy tech startup.
So, we exchange the usual pleasantries, and Clara, with her poker face intact, claims she's got nothing particular on her mind. But you know me, always ready to poke a bit and prod a bit. I mention how many of my other clients have been sweating bullets over performance reviews, but Clara just brushes it off like lint on a jacket, saying it's all copacetic.
Now, having rubbed elbows with Clara for a good few moons, I've noticed a pattern - she's got this knack for painting everything with the rosiest brush in the box. Translation? Self-awareness? Well, let's just say it's on the endangered species list in her world.
So, I decide to dive right in and ask about the scores she's dishing out to her crew. And boy, did she lay it out for me:
Riley: Solid as a rock. Check. 2% merit bonus. Keep on truckin', buddy.
Taylor: Right on track. Check. 2% merit bonus. Expand those horizons and grab an international assignment, champ.
Avery: Falling a tad short. Check. 1% merit bonus. Get your geek on and get technical.
Quinn: Lagging behind. Check. 1% merit bonus. Speak up and find that voice.
I gotta admit, I did a double-take at that recap. Seems like Clara's been tossing around Quinn, Avery, and Taylor like old tennis balls. The takeaways she's cooking up now don't quite match the ones she'd served up before.
So, I decide to play detective. I ask her how she arrived at these conclusions. And what do I get? Well, Quinn's apparently this silent ninja - hard worker, but about as visible as a ghost at noon. Not exactly the life of the party, lacking that "oomph" factor Riley's got going on.
Naturally, I push back a bit. Remind her of our little chat about Quinn, where Clara herself had doubts about her judgment. Caught in the crossfire, she finally spills the beans - turns out Quinn’s business acumen and strategic chops might be a bit nonexistent.
I prod a bit more, ask why she wasn't planning to air out that dirty laundry. She just shrugs it off, claiming she was on a time crunch and had to jot something down. Quinn reminded her of a ninja, so she figured "speaking up" was a convenient tagline, especially since Riley was the polar opposite.
But I set her straight. There's a bigger fish to fry here, and it's Quinn's business savvy and strategic prowess, or lack thereof, that's been keeping Clara up at night. Sure, picking a flaw that's true might seem harmless, but it could send Quinn on a wild goose chase, chasing shadows that don't even matter to Clara in the grand scheme. And I warn her about tossing around terms like "silent ninja" - could rub Quinn, a Japanese American, the wrong way.
I dig a bit deeper, and Clara admits she pretty much pulled reasons out of thin air for Taylor, Avery, and Quinn.
So, I lean in a little closer, asking her if she truly felt that the four received the ratings she believed they deserved. Her response? A straightforward "no." Riley, well, Riley was the shining star, with Taylor trailing not too far behind. And, well, Avery and Quinn? Dependable, for sure. Losing them from the team? She'd hate it. But then, she lets slip that her manager had this limited promotion budget, putting the pressure on her to shuffle the team's rankings to match the earlier ratings she shared. Then came the excuses—seemingly believable ones—that she had to dish out along with the disappointing news.
I can't help but point out that these fabricated excuses, even if tinged with a hint of truth, can be downright damaging. Especially considering our past sessions, where I've caught her slipping into the realm of white lies.
So, I decide to tackle it head-on. Does she recognize that spinning white lies is a problem? "Yes," she admits, promising not to go down that road again.
Of course, I'm a tad skeptical, so I dig a bit deeper. After some back-and-forth, she opens up about its roots in her upbringing. In her homeland, she explains, it's almost second nature, a cultural norm ingrained by her surroundings—friends, family, especially her mom. Reflecting further, she shares her ongoing journey with her therapist, trying to unlearn the need for constant attention that shaped her childhood survival tactics, including the art of the white lie.
I press her to reflect on why those white lies proved so effective. "It made things easier," she confesses. A slight bend in the truth to smooth out the edges, ensuring nobody got hurt, especially if there was a sliver of truth intertwined, even if not the main thread.
I lay it out plain and simple for Clara—I don't want to see those white lies creeping in anymore. Besides the havoc it wreaks on her team, she's in a new world now, where attention isn't in short supply. Her team's there for her, and thankfully, her boss is always a call away.
With a little help from ManageBetter, she revisits her team's performance evaluations. No, she couldn't alter the ratings or the bonuses, but at least she could dish out some real, constructive feedback—not just convenient excuses.
And then comes the real moment of truth with her team. Despite her admiration for their work, she spills the beans about the company's budget constraints. If they're disheartened and feel like jumping ship, she tells them they're free to do so. But if they stick around, she hopes they'll see it as a chance to grow, focusing on the aspects of their careers they can control.
Simple, right? Well, not always
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